2009-6-21 上海中考英语作文试题评析
(以I want to do something for my school(我想为学校做一件事) 为题写-篇不少于60个词的短文,标点符号不占格。)(注意:短文中不得出现考生的姓名、校名及其他相关信息,否则不予评分。)
学生习作1
I want to make school clean. You may think it is very simple. But I don't think so. Our teacher said, School is your home, you should keep it clean.But I have never done anything to make school clean. For example, I have never told my classmate to pick up rubbish after he threw it on the ground. I also threw the rubbish on the ground. So I want to make school clean so that everyone can forgive me. During this summer holiday, I will go to school to make school clean. Of course, I will do it with my classmates. We will make school clean every weekends next term as well. Now, do you think it is simple?
评析
此文分三层,先提出自己的观点,然后写出自己怎么做的,最后写了我可以让我的学校变得干净让每个人宽恕我,结尾紧扣全文,写出我会怎么做。
全文立意新颖,区别于传统的作文,有自己的生活背景,写出了从我原来是怎么做到现在的转变过程,没有重大的语法错误,是一篇值得参考的好文章。
(以I want to do something for my school(我想为学校做一件事) 为题写-篇不少于60个词的短文,标点符号不占格。)(注意:短文中不得出现考生的姓名、校名及其他相关信息,否则不予评分。)
学生习作1
I want to make school clean. You may think it is very simple. But I don't think so. Our teacher said, School is your home, you should keep it clean.But I have never done anything to make school clean. For example, I have never told my classmate to pick up rubbish after he threw it on the ground. I also threw the rubbish on the ground. So I want to make school clean so that everyone can forgive me. During this summer holiday, I will go to school to make school clean. Of course, I will do it with my classmates. We will make school clean every weekends next term as well. Now, do you think it is simple?
评析
此文分三层,先提出自己的观点,然后写出自己怎么做的,最后写了我可以让我的学校变得干净让每个人宽恕我,结尾紧扣全文,写出我会怎么做。
全文立意新颖,区别于传统的作文,有自己的生活背景,写出了从我原来是怎么做到现在的转变过程,没有重大的语法错误,是一篇值得参考的好文章。
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